My vocabulary was always a healthy mix of SAT taught vocabulary, unabridged Shakespeare and curse words.
Now it sounds like, “I told you so/ Can’t you do it right in one go/ Was it that hard to hear me the first time around”, coupled with healthy doses of phone banging.
Here she goes again….. I can almost feel AP’s eyes rolling right back into his head. Like he becomes comatose every time I start speaking about something that’s bothering me.
“You seriously don’t need to get on my case. I told you I will pay the credit card bill!! Now can I please get back to my office work?”
Ofcourse you can!! Silly me! I ONLY do frivolous things like painting my nails the colours of the rainbow and sipping margaritas while my home is managed by a fleet of ninja staff! How inconsiderate of me to disrupt your day!
But the thing is, when I say stuff that conveniently goes ignored, stuff doesn’t get done or blows up. *oops*
And while all you can hear is “blah blah dinner blah social commitment”, I’m actually updating you on a huge amount of things.
The bills that need to be paid, the family birthdays you might forget(and blame me later), your childhood friend visiting from overseas, the school commitments, family, friends and the whole world that exists outside of your over-occupied mind. A world that also needs tending.
Sometimes I get irritated at the way I sound, seriously my own ‘nagging’ annoys me.
But, I didn’t realise being a woman meant not only managing your professional life and slaying at it, but also managing family, friends, home, finances: basically being Wonder Woman and everyone around you acting like it’s expected from you anyway.
The reason I’m always/mostly/kind-of/maybe right is because my spouse( and all other husbands) are not listening. They are so consumed by their now. Stuck in their capsule offices, living like their laptops are their lives. They forget that a whole universe exists parallely.
And when you don’t listen, Murphy’s law applies to you. And then expect the wrath of your wife to be unleashed onto you.
Honestly I’m laughing so hard while writing this that the aunties playing bridge behind me are getting their own two cents of entertainment.
See? Even they can hear me!
Like you expect us to listen to your professional challenges and offer our opinions, we also expect you to listen to our struggles. Because we deal with all you deal with, and everything you decided not to deal with.
It’s hard to explain to your mom everyday that you will call her back. Your son that his Amazon package has definitely been ordered by dad. That you’re not pretending to be busy and you’re not being a #%^* to your friends. That mama actually bought that present for his niece. You get the drift? It’s hard to pick up after you all the time.
So listen up!! It just might prevent you from forgetting your nephews name while you desperately search for me across the room to save you. You’ll be saved from a lot more of the “I told you so” and social blunders that you seem to be so intent on making.
Basically we’ll save your hide while making you look good! Win Win no?
(BTW: Everyone has the right to their own opinion. This is a piece of humour, not a text on how to live your life. Don’t take it too seriously. Have a laugh and move on for heaven’s sake.)