Not JUST a Mom

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There’s no feeling more amazing than holding your child for the first time, something awakens in you.

You become a mom. And every feeling you ever felt is negated in face of this over-whelming new emotion.

You redefine love. Because you realise you never knew it like this before.

It’s the strongest experience a woman can feel.

It defines you….. or does it?

I’m not going to go all femi-nazi preachy, so hold onto the keyboard just yet!

Unfortunately, the opposite sex has no clue what I’m talking about. Sorry guys, but no. And don’t defend yourselves, because you did not carry an entire human around for 9 months and then birth it. So sshhhhhhhh.

I was a career woman. Independent.

I went out with my friends and didn’t have to disguise them as “girls nights”.

I spent without guilt.

Now, like many many other mommies, I can’t go to the loo without an audience. And I’ve learnt the word Power-Shower (or the art of bathing in under 5 minutes).

I gave up my career, and previous life, fully aware of what I was doing. I was never forced into it. On the contrary, my husband, parents, and in laws, have encouraged me to go back to work. But I’m just too lazy now. Plus I’ve taken the opportunity to pursue the interests a full time job wouldn’t have afforded me.

Working moms, and people like me alike, however, seem to have put ourselves on the back burner.

Letting ourselves go physically in some cases, and mentally in others.

I found myself in a place along the way where I was frustrated and angry. Who was I anyway??

I’m sure every mom has felt the pressures to balance our work,children, one hundred relatives, husbands and social lives. And we crack.

The anger comes out on the people we love the most, and, the people we are doing all of this for in the first place.

We forget that we are also fully functional adults. We don’t need to be guilty of wanting me-time.

We lose our essence and our identity,  we lose the definition of me!

I don’t mean thrust your kids on the nanny and walk off in your high heels.

But a more pragmatic approach.

Stop feeling guilty. Find the time to do things for yourself. Relax yourself. Mentally and physically. Don’t be afraid to take a vacation minus the tots. Do that dinner date you planned. Get a massage. Lock your bedroom door for a bit. Read that amazing book.

Don’t make excuses, make time for yourself.

Being a mom is not a punishment. So why do we punish ourselves by taking on too much?

We have amazing support systems all around us and we should really tap into them ever so often for sanity purposes.

Delegate to the husband. He won’t say no.

Give responsibility to your children. 9 out of 10 times, the house is not set on fire. No apocalypse, relax.

Call on your parents, I personally don’t trust anyone more with my kid than the people who raised me.

And everyone will love the calmer, saner version that you become!

Go on girls, show yourself a little bit of TLC before you spread the love.

And you can thank me for this advice later (even though you knew this all along)!

 

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