But this year, as the day approaches, I’m getting a knot in my tummy.
Last night, a bunch of us were discussing how old we are, and all my closest friends are now categorised as mid-30’s and 40. *choke*
When the heck did this happen????
I was young and wild and free.
Now I’m suddenly mid 30’s?? 5 years I’ll be 40?
The thing about age is, you don’t feel it, but you sure as hell look it and behave it(or not).
Sitting in bed, I asked the husband, “Do we look that old or that age?”
Husband: “Of course babe”.
End of world drum roll started.
Me: “No, but when I look in the mirror I can’t tell how old I am.”
Husband: “Nobody minds looking at their own face babe.” *slap*
I know I’ve not felt these aches and pains before. I’ve not loved early bed times more. And a light meal at night….but I thought I was growing up, not growing old!!
Damnit. Where did all the good years even go?
One moment you’re feeling all confident, like “I got this”, ” I haven’t felt better than my 30’s” and all that bull.
Next minute you’re having a full scale breakdown, palpitations and meltdown all rolled into one.
I’ve really never thought of age as more than a number, but this Birthday has really got me riled up.
It might also be causing me to act out, act immaturely(hey,hey, it’s not a common feature ok, I can be a grown up), and not be myself in general.
It’s making me take some risks, say and do things I normally don’t see myself doing.
Classic mid life crises.
But I thought I already had that when I hit 30, with all the irresponsible behaviour, but apparently you hit new levels of stupidity every 5 years.
Now do you feel my meltdown?
It’s a full scale panic attack.
I know, I’ll eventually calm down. I won’t get another tattoo. Or colour my hair purple. I won’t do something overly foolish(or so I hope).
It will all blow over and come under control.
But it’s these moments that inspire people to take some amazing risks as well(playing my own devils advocate).
They do stuff with their life they didn’t have time for before. Take up passions. And they stop being so complacent. Stop being lazy.
It’s inspired people to make career changes, get fit, run, write, basically do so much more with their lives!
Yeah, maybe that’s what I need!
Or maybe, just wait till my birthday rolls around, and realise that it’s not that bad. It’s just another year, and it’s not the end of the world. (So dramatic, I know!)
Or maybe I’ll still fight it. Growing old but not growing up. Not in a maturity perspective, but in a fun aspect. Be Peter Pan.
Age is just a number right? Right?