Bai bai Kanta Bai

“Didi, aapse ek baat karni thi ( didi, I wanted to talk to you)”, muttered my bai/ maid under her breath.
It was one of those bad Hindi movie scene where you turn around in slow motion and your face contorts in horror at what’s to come.
“ Ek mahine ki chutti chahiye( I want leave for a month)”.
And the world just self combusted.

Those are the dreaded words every woman, working or not, fears the most.
She will go on her one month leave happily and here my world will be blown to bits.

So, for all you guys who know me, I have the male version of this going through my life. I have 2 male helps, and believe me they have as many mood swings and vacations as their female counterparts.
As a matter of fact, as I’m writing this, one of them has decided that his relative is getting married “suddenly” and has taken off midweek.

We have the most intense love-hate relationship with our staff members possible.
They are the reason for and for the lack of our independence.
They dictate our ability to be mobile.
Their mood dictates whether we will be eating cardboard or coq au vin.

Basically they have us by the throat. And we can’t do anything about it.

Point in case, our community whatsapp group is constantly filled with requests and pleas for the perfect maid/driver. It’s like they are more in demand than movie stars!

My endeavours were also no less comical in my pursuit of domestic bliss.

When I decided that I needed additional help after having baby A, I decided I wanted to hire a female help. Bad move baby.
I had one crazy lady who first tried to convert my entire household into another religion. Followed by one of the most colourful one one, who’s antics probably inspired some bad Hindi movies themselves.
Twice bitten, I went back to male help. And I got rewarded by one gem after another.
One who wanted to sing in Indian Idol provided us with many many wonderful videos of his ‘audition songs’.
It’s a zoo out there! And I had every exotic animal come to work for me.

I’m not kidding when I say that’s it’s harder to find the perfect help than to find a perfect husband!!

So on that note, may your endeavours be successful, your maids never take leave, and you find one that forever stays in a good mood!! Happy hunting!

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